While the widely accepted culture of social drinking is to drink casually and not get drunk, the indian perspective is entirely opposite - to get insanely drunk. Social drinkers are also known as occasional drinkers. They don’t have a reason to drink, they just drink when they feel like it. They drink for every occasion - bored/success/failure/irritating boss/exams/no occasion to celebrate. The advantage of these people is that you put them on a godforsaken island, where you don’t get anything they can stay well - no crave for liquor or you take them to the bar two times a day - they will give you company and still do well - they don’t crave for liquor after that.
Social drinking clubs gets organized every other day. They don’t go to a bar/discotheque to get drunk. They are guys of simple taste with the intent of not getting drunk, they choose one of the pal’s place. Every one of the social drinker has a truck load of friends - all known the same way through various group therapy sessions with different clubs - to accompany them. Every club is comprised of one or more of these types of people.
The guzzler - Famous for his capability. He can gulp down a barrel. Everytime you call him, get one for this fellow alone. The expenses get high because of the barrel. Also you need to make sure he knows the toilet - He just can’t keep on fuddling, right ? Once he is done with the loo, he is afresh and starts over again. He can keep on drinking for two continuous days without getting tired and he won’t feel a thing about hunger/vomit. All you need to do is pour him the drink- Cheers !! He will be happy holding a ever smiling face. Also you can find this guy being part of every club known to you. He goes anywhere, everywhere to hone his skills.
The spewer - Equivalently famous like the guzzler for the same capability. He pukes every time he drinks. The problem with these guys is that they get high soon and they don’t have control over themselves they keep on drinking/eating and at the end, everything comes out the way they went in. He too needs information about the loo, and some one to take him there, otherwise you will see this guy searching the closet lid to open, which is already open. He can manage from there on. Height of vomiting can be experienced when you go outside to drink with him.
The self feeder - This guy is one of the silent fellows. Nobody drinks without food or side dish. This guy sits close to the good dishes and surrounds himself with everything. There will be pandemonium in the house after few rounds, but you don’t have to get confused or panicked searching your place, you can do so with the help of this guy. He will be sitting silently in a blissful state with a beatific smile and happiness, savoring every moment of eating the food while drinking. Even when he is high, his senses cannot be ensnared, you cannot cheat him by eating his share or give him something saying as chicken. Believe me, you will get a bad beating if you do that. He can compromise anything even a drink, but not the food. His sole pleasure lies in eating while drinking. Make sure you get everything extra to compensate this guy.
The blowhard - The loudmouth, braggart who brings on competition in the field. He is all jubilant to beat his record before everyone commences. There is no fun without this guy. He brags about his skill of drinking that he is capable of beating anybody on stage. After one or two rounds, he is all high with his eyes almost closing him and says- “I can hold much longer, dare to compete with me ???”. The guzzler “Okay buddy relax !! Its not a beer drinking competition, here’s another round. I will get it for you”. Guzzler, after having emptied almost half the barrel, takes the bottle breathes heavily to focus on pouring the drink without spilling, both his eyes fixed on the glass, gets the mixing done and turns around to find loudmouth lying on his sides, hands and legs cuddled. Period.
The bad mouth - This guy is one of the reason fights begin during the drinking session. Everybody calls him the saint, polite, saint like and timid in nature, when he is in normal state. Few rounds of booze - ecstasy - “WTF !! @#$%@#$ #$%@#$ WTF!! @#$%@# %^&**&”. He will spit out the meanest words possible scolding everyone available in the vicinity. Get into a conversation and kiss respect to your ancestors a goodbye. Going out with him, while he is fully drunk is strictly not advised. You might get into a brutal fight.
The narrator - Ever seen someone prattling over something after a drink. Yea !! This is the guy. He is the story teller. The more he drinks, the more gibberish the talk becomes. Further more drinks, you will be watching him talking to the wall or to closet in the toilet and the mirror sometimes. He knows no limits to how much he drinks. If the paladin and this guy are already acquainted, the battle begins. Along with the bad mouth, it becomes a world war at the place.
The paladin- Enough intro has already been given about this guy. Few rounds and there will be chaos. He takes whatever he gets in hand to beat someone. Nobody mocks him or pulls him to any conversation that interests him. Sometimes he wouldn’t have been involved in the conversation, the narrator and the bad mouth would be seriously bull shitting and this guy comes out of nowhere for no reason to beat them to pulp. The newbie and the teetotaler would be spell bound and dumbstruck. He gets wild and goes out of the house at 2 AM walking all over from adambakkam to adayar.
The newbie - In every session, a new bie pops up. He is so interested to drink or he totally detests them, but at the end he will be drunk. When he is interested, the enthusiasm has no limits that he drinks up everything available on the desk. All hooked up, he will end up puking all over the house. When he detests them, with all the pandemonium going over the house, he will be forced to drink with paladin pouncing and bringing him down. The others sit over his hands and legs and the bad mouth, sitting on his belly, ready to pour the drink. He shouldn’t waste right ? So once you hold the nose, you open the mouth and there goes the drink. You get a hard blow if you spit it out.
The teetotaler - This guy is an exception to the gang. He is the one who wonders every moment about what is happening. Sometimes he will be pulling off a fight, getting the paladin into the house at 2 AM, putting the newbie to relax/sleep, bringing some senses to the narrator, who is speaking to the mirror for past half an hour, helping the spewer vomit properly and last but not least, he is the one, who prepares bed for everyone to lie down, cleans up everything after every guy is down. He will be so tired that he will be sleeping on the veranda. The guzzler would have drunk till dawn leaving the main door open and kept the bottle close to the teetotaler. With the bottles beside him and the whole room a mess, the teetotaler is finally woken up by the landlord.
